DIY English Muffins

I thought about calling these "crack muffins," just so they would go viral, like the broccoli. Nobody can resist the word "crack." Will you be surprised if I tell you that my kids thought the broccoli name had to do with butt crack? 

I know that Thomas’ kind of has the whole English muffin thing down—and that making them from scratch will sound as sensible to some of you as Homemade Marshmallow Fluff! Homemade Rainbow Sprinkles! Homemade Super-Plus Tampax! 

Spread peach jam on it, and Michael will eat a beach towel.

I understand. I’m like that about some things too. But we are kind of English muffin fanatics around here.

And the problem for me is that the more bread I bake from scratch, the more strange store-bought (or “boughten,” as we like to say on the prairie) bread and bread products start to taste to me. Sometimes they taste like laundry detergent, which I take to be a simple issue of mechanical proximity in the storeroom. And sometimes they taste like dust, which I take to be a complex issue with the age of the flour. These, however, are simply incredible: so deeply flavored and exquisite, and nooked-and-crannied with the best of them. And if you use all whole-grain flour, they’re also chock-full of nutrients.

 Plus—and don’t hate me for saying this—they are really pretty easy, and they don’t take very long. I think you should think of it as cake mix that you, you know, kind of assemble yourself. There’s yeast in it, and I know you're like "Yeast! Kill me!" and you've already got your hands over your ears, blah blah blah blah blah. But you don’t need to do anything about the yeast! Pretend it’s not even there. Besides, the batter is thick and gooey, and you don’t need to knead it or add just the right amount of anything. Just follow the directions! And give the batter a warm place to rise.

I should have left a magazine in there for it.

You might also wonder about the rings, which you do need.

It's like an English muffin ring--but one that comes with bonus preserved fish!

You can order some quite inexpensively. Or you can start saving your tuna cans: just remove both the top and the bottom, and you’ve got a perfect English muffin ring.
**Edited to add: I just saw on-line that somebody uses regular old wide-mouth canning rings! Please let me know if you try this.

Once you get your muffin rings, they will be so easy to find when you need them!

 DIY English Muffins

Makes 8

Active time: 30 minutes; total time: 1 hour

If you use all white flour, cut the baking soda down to ¼ or ½ teaspoon: on the one hand, your batter won’t need as much help rising, and on the other hand, they will be milder flavored, making the baking soda taste more pronounced. Not that anyone has mentioned the baking soda taste, by the way. I just not it can be an issue. I am wondering if cornmeal would work on the griddle, instead of oil, to keep them from sticking without giving them that slight oily inclination to burn. Let me know if you try it—I keep meaning to, but then forget.

Ingredients

1 1/3 cups very warm (but not hot) milk (I microwaved mine)

1 tablespoon sugar

2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 tablespoon shortening or vegetable oil

1 envelope dry yeast (2 ½ teaspoons)

2 cups whole-wheat flour (delicious), or a mix of whole-wheat and spelt flour (shown here), or some mix of whole-grain and white flour, or all white flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

Vegetable-oil spray

In a bowl combine the milk, sugar, salt, and shortening, and stir until the sugar and salt are dissolved, then add the yeast and stir again. Add the flour and beat thoroughly with wooden spoon. Cover the bowl and let it rest in a warm spot for 30 minutes.

Spray the griddle with oil and heat over a low flame.

Add the baking soda to the mixture and beat thoroughly. Place metal rings onto the griddle and coat lightly with vegetable spray. Fill the rings half full (I use a third of a cup for each, and measure it in an oiled measuring cup), cover with an oiled baking sheet, cook for 4 to 5 minutes. Remove the baking sheet and flip rings using tongs. Cover with the sheet and cook for another 3 to 4 minutes or until golden brown. Place on a cooling rack, remove rings, and cool. (I only have 4 rings, so I bake these in 2 batches).

Split with a fork (just stick the fork in and out all the way around the edge, until the muffin comes apart into two halves) and toast before eating. Store leftovers air-tight at room temperature for a couple of days, or in the refrigerator for longer.

These make very good pizza toast.

Tip: if yours got to dark on the bottom, as mine often do, you can put your toaster oven on broil so that the bottoms won’t get any darker.

Your batter will be lighter if you use some or all white flour. Oh, but don't! I mean, some is fine. But you'll be so happy and healthy if you add some whole-grain!

I spray the rings on top of the upside-down baking sheet, which also needs to be sprayed. Smart, right?

The batter in the rings. These don't come out perfect, by the way. They are often misshapen.

Plus, even after spraying, the baking sheet sometimes pulls some of the batter off when you lift it up. No matter! Just try not to burn the bottoms: keep the heat low, and keep your nose awake to the possibility of burning.

Still, pretty nice, right? The uglier side is hidden from you.

Fork-split and ready to toast.

Birdy.