Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Homemade Dip Cones (coneless version)


Is it hard to trust a person who, one weeks, talks about broccoli like it's the new sour cream-and-bacon Ruffles, and the next talks about dip-cone ice-cream topping like it's the new flaxseed-crusted spelt? Maybe. But I need to make a case for making your own dip-cone topping. Not because how else are you going to get your kids to eat their ice cream? But because you will be a hero for the night, recreating the melty, crunchy, delightful experience that the kids associate only with summertime and clam shacks. We had this for dessert last night, after a glorious dinner of bean bowls with mmm sauce. Perfect.

But you should also make it because--and here's where you need to stretch with me--it's sort of oddly healthy. Coconut oil is the new darling of nutrition folks because it turns out to be, as my jar boasts, full of MCTs. 62% MCTs, no less! Enough said.

No? Well, according to my 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth, of which coconut oil is a proud member, MCTs are medium-chain triglycerides, which your body prefers to use for energy, rather than storing as fat. (This is unfortunate if, like me, you were hoping to store more fat on your way towards the Guinness-Book Trunk-Junk title.) Not only that, but the MCTs in coconut oil are half made up of lauric acid, which is a massive virus and bacteria KILLA. Also, MCTs fight STDs which is A.O.K. if you are a S-L-U-T!
I'm just dessert, and am in no way implicated in the discussion above. Or below.
Plus, my brand is called EfaGold, which sounds like "effing gold," which makes me laugh. Get the extra virgin kind, and store it in the fridge, and expect it to make things taste a bit coconutty when you use it. As I have mentioned before, we pop popcorn in it, and it is utterly fantastic.
Unrelated cat-in-a-bag shot.
The single other ingredient of homemade dip-cone topping is dark chocolate, and we do believe, because they tell us it's true, that dark chocolate is full of antioxidants and antidepressants and antiunhappinesses of all sorts.

I arranged the chocolate so that you can't see the big orange discount label on the coconut oil. Coconut oil is expensive, so I like to buy mine at the local Scratch-and-Dent. I do make sure that it's only there because of some labeling error (EffingGold!) or cosmetic situation, rather than because it is past is expiration date.
Ready? Here's what you do. Put 1/4 cup of coconut oil (I dig it out with a butter knife and estimate the amount) and 1/3 cup of dark chocolate chips in a heat-proof bowl or a mason jar. Microwave for a minute or two (you could, obviously, do this in a small pot on the stovetop), until the chocolate is almost melted, then stir until smooth. Drizzle over ice cream, where it will chill almost immediately into a delicious, crackable shell. Store the extras in the fridge and heat as needed.

I haven't tried flavoring it, but would like to: orange, I'm thinking, or peppermint. Yum!

I wish I'd taken pictures, last night, of Ben and Birdy's ecstatic faces.
Can you see that it makes a shell? I can't tell if the photos show the shell well. Hell.

33 comments:

  1. Jennifer LB11:16 AM

    Now you just need a recipe for dulce de leche (or your favorite brand) and you can make a "Salty Pimp". Fits perfectly with the tenor of this post.

    http://biggayicecream.com/treats/

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  2. only you could make me read all the way to the end of a post about chocolate topping!! too funny. will try it soon

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  3. Thank you, Shari, and Jennifer, I'm so glad to know about Big Gay Ice Cream!

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  4. "We stretch to give." Not that I don't love dipped cones (or roasted broccoli for that matter), but that's the phrase that is still rolling around in my head. In a completely good way. In a personal challenge kind of way. Thank you for planting such a beautiful seed.

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  5. ahhh, this post made me laugh so hard i am crying! love it :)

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  6. Wow. Years ago, Nader's Raiders made a big hoopla over how unhealthy movie theater popcorn was because it was popped in coconut oil. So, the theaters made the move to "healthier" oils, and our popcorn has never tasted the same. Now, it turns out that coconut oil does have health benefits? All those years wasted!!!

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  7. You just became my kids' hero -- because they *adore* Magic Shell, but I never buy it since it's totally expensive and always seems like it's dangerously artificial. Now we can make Effin' Shell together, and I can let them eat it and feel righteous :)

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  8. miryboo1:12 PM

    Thanks the laughs, the recipe (except I'm afraid of how much I might love it) and whoops- you're supposed to store coconut oil in the fridge?!

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  9. You are my favorite cooking blog. Two ingredients and a microwave! Plus I'm sure to be my kids' hero with this one. Thanks!

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  10. I have been eating your Sweet Potato Sundaes for lunch for weeks now. Weeks!

    Now I need one of these healthy sundaes for dessert!

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  11. I just bought Coconut Oil yesterday because, dum-dum-dah-dah, I bought a Whirley-Pop!

    I also made the Broccoli Crack last night. Batting .500 there.

    My friend Craig started selling his premium ice cream this week; I just wish I were in reach of Shelburne, VT to get my hands on some.

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  12. Oh, and I nominated you for the 12th Annual Bloggies Awards. (http://2012.bloggi.es/

    The word verify says uprouser. That's a good one.

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  13. Still LMAO at the cat in bag photo. SO much so that I had to explain to the 25 year old male who sits across from me at work what was up! I'm pretty sure he doesn't get the mommy blogger humor! Thanks for my laugh of the day.

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  14. Anonymous8:49 PM

    i am reading this while eating a (second) bowl of your rosemary-maple popcorn.

    I made a huge batch of it this weekend, and I don't know why I'm admitting this, but I ate it as cereal this morning. As in, I poured milk on it and ate it with a spoon listening to morning radio. I guess I felt to guilty to just eat a bowl as is, so I convinced myself it could be cereal.

    it was pretty good.

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  15. I can't WAIT to try this...I usually get sighs at dinner, but this will make me a hero for sure.

    Thanks for always coming up with the best stuff. Cuz you are well, hell, swell.

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  16. Oh, how I try to slip coconut oil into my family's diet in place of more deviant fats, like butter. My daughter is impossible. "Is there coconut in here? I taste coconut!" And so it goes. I would love this though. Not sure what I could swap out the coconut oil for so that she would eat it. Shortening? Probably doesn't have the same nutritional profile. It probably kills a medium chain fatty acid when it sees one. "I keeeelll yooouuu!!" Speaking of recipies that incorporate the health benefits of dark chocolate (kinda) I made this recipie tonight from my favorite people of Cookus Interruptus. It was insanely good, and also a clever way to use up some of the 35 lbs of kabocha squash I got in our CSA preserving shares. I made it with a Fronterra mild enchilada sauce rather than making the sauce from scratch. My two kids screaming in the background is too tedious a sountrack when trying to make a fussy sauce. I just added the cinnamon and sugar from the Cookus recipie to the premade sauce and it was amazing! Enjoy! http://www.cookusinterruptus.com/index.php?video_id=295

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  17. I just nominated you for the bloggie awards, too! I've never done that before, so thanks to the previous poster that brought it up. I put you in every category I thought you'd qualify for.
    I purchased coconut oil a while back because it's supposed to be so healthy, but then I never knew what to do with it. Homemade Magic Shell it is!

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  18. yeah, I nominated you also!!

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  19. I laughed so many times while reading. Love you.

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  20. Karen T.1:17 PM

    You make me L-A-U-G-H! Please never stop writing.

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  21. i literally HAD MY HAND INSIDE A BAG OF GHIRARDELLI SEMI-SWEET CHIPS (breakfast of champions) as I scrolled though. coffee may have been snorted. just sayin'.

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  22. Angela3:33 PM

    150 healthiest foods on earth sounds interesting. Top tens and top sevens are so _exclusive_! ;)

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  23. not sure if blogger allows this or if you would want to....but it would be nice if the links opened in a new window. (at least for me anyway) just a thought to take or leave :)

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  24. Anonymous2:04 PM

    I love that you go through the trouble of angling the back and setting up the shot to hide the discount sticker, then telling us about it. Like the burn mark on the potholder. One of the many reasons I love you.

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  25. mmmm. you are such a lovable evil genius!

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  26. Mmmm. You are such a lovable evil genius! This is brilliant.

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  27. maxanyamom3:55 PM

    @Shari - I use Chrome for my browser, and I've used Firefox in the past. If you right click on the links in Catherine's posts, you should get a pop up menu that allows you to open in a New Tab or a New Window. Not sure if this works with Windows Explorer, but if it doesn't...well, it really should. You can download and use Chrome or Firefox for free and they are excellent browsers.

    Catherine - Coconut Oil is now on my grocery list for my local food co-op! I can't wait to try this!!! And the Broccoli Crack was simply divine!

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  28. I just have to tell you I'm reading Bird by Bird right now and I keep thinking, "She reminds me of Catherine!" You both have a way with words, humor, and punchlines!

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  29. Never seen your site before today, but I came accross a link to your Dill Pickle Popcorn and then I noticed your blog name! I have two darling kiddos, Ben and Tabby and Tabby's nickname is ... Birdy!! Totally made me smile. Of course the fact that you make awesome looking food? Super bonus.

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  30. @maxanyamom, thank you, I always seem to forget that!!

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  31. I made these last night and they were fantastic! I was a little worried when I melted everything together because it was really thin, but as soon as it hit the ice cream it was picture perfect. We're already fantasizing about using different ice cream flavors with it: banana? coconut? peppermint? As always, you're the BEST!!

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  32. it's snowing buckets here in Seattle. I just made this and we poured it over bowls of "clean" snow (nothing yellow!). wonderful.

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  33. Anonymous10:28 AM

    made this last night, kids were amazed!! so yummy!! Thanks!!

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