Hopefully we're together on Instagram at this point, where you can follow all my tragic musings on the passage of time, etc. For example, here, where I write about our Ben leaving us (again) and how happy-sad that makes me, blah blah, same as I ever was.
Anyhoo. Ben's summer bucket list included "making fudge." On his last day home he was scrambling around, packing and gathering and laundering and stealing our spices, and I said, "Hey! Let's just make fudge at Thanksgiving!" And he was like, "What? No! We have to make it today!" I did not burst into tears and fling my old-lady arms around his waist, which is as high up on him as I can reach. I just said, "Okay! Let's." And it is truly the saddest, best fudge I have ever eaten.
|Pink shirt! Good god! #stillhisfavoritecolor|
Our Fudge of Perpetual Sorrows
Just slightly adapted from this penuche recipe. I have to recommend only making it if you have a candy thermometer. I think "penuche" just means "brown sugar" or maybe "you won't be sorry" or "until you get a sugar migraine."
2/3 cup evaporated whole milk
2 cups brown sugar
1 1/2 sticks salted butter, cut into pieces
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt (or half as much table salt)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 3/4 cups powdered sugar
1 cup pecans (this makes it taste like pralines--but you could use walnuts)
1. Put the evaporated milk, brown sugar, butter, and salt in a heavy medium-sized pot, and bring it all to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring constantly.
2. Reduce the heat to low and cook, stirring frequently with a heatproof spatula to makes sure it's not sticking on the bottom, until a candy thermometer reads 240°. (This took roughly 15 or 20 minutes.)
3. Carefully (it's very hot) scrape the mixture into the metal bowl of a stand mixer and beat it with the paddle at medium speed while you add the vanilla and then, gradually, the powdered sugar. Stop beating when the fudge is thick and smooth. The recipe says 3-4 minutes, but this happened nearly instantly for us. (If you do this with a hand mixer, just make sure not use a plastic bowl, which will melt.)
4. Stir the nuts in with a spoon and spread the (very, very stiff) mixture into an ungreased 8-inch square pan. As it cooled, we kind of pressed it in with our hands. Refrigerate uncovered for about 30 minutes, then cut it into small squares (we pried the whole thing out the pan first) and store airtight at room temperature while you and Birdy weep into the cats' fur.
5. Vote and make sure all your friends are voting and do something, even if it's just something small, every day until the election to make sure that the democrats win because oh my god.
"Gay as a glorious butch Easter bonnet" - Oh, I love this (both the turn of phrase and the loving way in which you describe your kids). Your writing brightens my day :)ReplyDelete
Beautiful post for so many reasons...ReplyDelete
Topiaried him with the heteronormative clippers. Ohmygod, I adore you.ReplyDelete
I KNOLW!! She's the most amazing thing ever.Delete
This is SO crazy, I have read your blog since your Babycenter days and I remember when Ben's favourite shirt was that pink one with the heart. And Birdy was just a tiny newborn. Awwww. HOW DOES TIME GO SO FAST. Honestly. Birdy was a baby when my oldest was born, and it just seems like not that long ago.ReplyDelete
I was just sitting around wondering yesterday...I wonder whatever happened to that Birdy Blog I read in 2005 when my kids were little. I couldn't even remember that it was on Baby center, but I googled it and I'm so happy that it continues!!Delete
Leave it to you to something I don't usually like (fudge) into a recipe I would truly love. I'm a brown sugar fiend. I can't make this or I'll be sure to hurt myself.ReplyDelete
Oh my god is right. Love this.ReplyDelete
The caption to Ben's photo (the gorgeous grown up Ben, a perfect blend of Catherine and Michael) is a treasure in and of it itself... a tiny super charged blog post that never was. I miss your writing... I'm transported back to that basement in Granby where we had our computer and where I first started reading you back in 2002-4. Sigh...ReplyDelete
It is wonderful to read your glorious writing again!ReplyDelete
Mmmm, yes, penuche is brown sugar flavor. I love the penuche frosting recipe from Joy of Cooking and used to make it just to spread on graham crackers...ReplyDelete
Congratulations (and sympathy from a mother of kids in their late teens) on your parenting triumphs!
This fudge was INCREDIBLE! It's already a family favorite. Thank you for sharing the recipe!ReplyDelete