If You Give a Mom a Tylenol PM. . .

If you give a mom a Tylenol PM, she's going to sleep like a submarine bloop-bloop-blooping along the ocean floor.

When she wakes up, she's going to need to do something about her face, which will be simultaneously bloated and creased, like an apple-head witch doll that's been left to soak overnight.

So she's going to need to drive to her meeting with Scotch tape on her forehead to smooth out her puffy wrinkles while she squints blearily into the sun.

Then she's going to worry that she's too groggy to remember the tape on her face, so she's going to tuck her skirt into her underwear, while she's driving, to remind her when she gets there, and notices her skirt tucked into her underwear, that she has tape on her face.

Only she won't. She will walk 15 steps from her car towards her place of work with a taped face and her skirt tucked snugly up into her cotton underpants.

And chances are, if she walks to her meeting in skirt-stuffed underwear with tape on her face, she's not going to be able to fall asleep tonight, so she's going to need a Tylenol PM…

The End.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, new ChopChop column is here.

And I have a few little road-trip suggestions!

Bossypants, on audio, for the grown-ups. So, so funny. Plus, there's bad language and inappropriate stuff galore, but the politics are so great that it was okay with me if the kids heard an odd bit here and there when they took their headphones off. (Go to audible.com and see if they're still having their free trial.)

Knucklehead, on audio, for the whole family. Also so, so funny. A three-hour car trip passed in a blink while we listened to this. (Rectum? It nearly killed him!)

Have I already sent you to Mom's Minivan before? She has really great, free printable games and activities, such as license-plate bingo, the dot game, and an excellent pen-and-paper version of Battleship that we love.

And, finally, we got this very simple License Plate Poker game that is simple, but very diverting for some reason. I got it at Barnes and Noble, and even though I was balky about spending $10, I think we're going to get hundreds of hours out of boring-fun play out of it. If you win, you get a sticker for your booklet, and you know how much fun it is to pick stickers! I won a lot, luckily.

Still mulling blog names. . . Happy weekend! xo