Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Six and Nine

Do you ever come upon little things that just so perfectly capture who your children are at this exact moment? Like this cozy little scene on the kitchen floor:

Or this, after Ben's friend Ava had been over for a play date:

I knew this day would come. "vomitish turdling"! I also confess to loving "skinny pooping in the old swimming penis."

Meanwhile (excuse this dubious transition): chocolate pudding! A delicious recipe!

Enjoy the rest of your week.



  1. Feed the vaginas! Spend some time on my naked lady

    This is too funny I am laughing so hard I nearly pooped in my poopy poo poo pants

    oh to be 9 again

    You know we used to have these adlibs when we were kids on long (LONG) car rides around Australia but we were NEVER that ummm creative . Way to go Ben!

    I have to show this to everyone now so funny

  2. I love Mad Libs!

    And just fyi, some friends and I decided to bust them out for an evening filled with board games and a bit of alcohol...let me just say, they're still fun as grown-ups, especially if any of your friends can be a touch of a, um, well, perv, and you have to adhere to the old rule that you take turns reading the results out loud.

    My oldest will soon turn nine, and poop and butts and other such are the most common topics between he and his six year old brother..and often their four year old sister as well. Sometimes it's tiresome, but then I kind of think that if adults could sit and enjoy a full body chuckle after uttering "butt crack" several times a day, there might be a lot less grouchiness lurking around.

  3. To tell the scrotum-like truth, you've made me feel a lot better about my children's forays into potty talk. So thanks.

  4. I love the contrast between Birdie's darling little stuffed animal tucked in sweetly and Ben's potty talk Madlibs.

    Feed the vaginas. Hah. Sounds like a t-shirt the Todd (from Scrubs) would wear.

  5. Anonymous9:54 AM

    As Nowheymama said, it makes me feel better about all the potty talk in my house. My kid isn't the only one enjoying vulgar humor.

  6. "I love spending time on his naked lady." That is awesome beyond description. I'd probably frame something like that.

    Also, I often find similar scenes of stuffed animal mommying by my daughter (10).

    I have a feature on my blog called Weird Kid Wednesday. Glad to see that we're of the same mind. :)

  7. We are home with the virus from hell and that mad lib made my day. Maybe my whole week. I love it! Thanks for sharing.

  8. Absolutely Fantastic!

  9. Skinny pooping in the old swimming penis! That looks like when my husband and I play Mad Libs... some of us never outgrow the luv of the potty joke.

  10. Anonymous11:51 AM

    That could have been done by me and my friends, back when we were drunk in our early twenties.

    Thanks for sharing your kiddo's potty mouth with us. Dirty minds love company.


  11. Well, he clearly has a solid understanding of the parts of speech...
    I will now spend the rest of the day looking for things that could be described as "scrotum like".

  12. "Scrodum like" is my new favorite adjective, though "peeish" and "vomitish" are both honorable mentions. I love, love, love that you saved his Madlib. Imagine the blackmail potential when he has kids of his own!

  13. Anonymous5:03 PM

    Oh Good Lord! I'm so grateful my six year old doesn't read your blog. He'd be hospitalized from hysteria. He adores potty words! So does my husband (rolls eyes). Thanks for sharing something so incredibly politically incorrect.

  14. Anonymous5:23 PM

    This is hilarious. And makes me realize I should appreciate 4 - I thought "stupid" was bad... aye ya yi! :) Thanks for sharing.

  15. Anonymous11:47 PM

    I used to do Mad Libs with my sixth graders when I was teaching to help them practice parts of speech in a fun way. They would push the envelope as far as they could and, oh my, did they think they were funny. :)

  16. Jennifer12:41 AM

    Oh my gosh. Ben and Ava's Madlib takes me back to slumber parties way back in the late 70's. Thanks for sharing.
    I had three 9-year-old boys in my car last week. They told one potty mouth joke after another like I couldn't hear them. They thought they were hilarious.
    My 5-year-old daughter leaves her babies around the house wrapped up clutching bottles, too. So sweet.

  17. A friend of a friend apparently created something called "Sad Libs" that he would print up at Kinko's. They would say things like,

    "Dear (name),

    I am (emotional state) to inform you that you have been diagnosed with (disease) of the (body part). You have less than (number) (unit of time) to live. You will likely want to (verb) your relatives and let them know how to (verb) you in your time of (emotion)."

    Good stuff.

  18. Oh my gosh! I don't know what's funnier! You post or the comments! We certainly have a housefull of potty words loving people, especially the father. When he knows he's in trouble about something (mainly leaving socks on the floor) he loves to crack potty jokes. He can get pretty funny, especially in Spanish. And the kids follow suit, like my 4 year old. When I ask him why he hit the neighbor he says, "Just because, Caca." And I, because I'm so mature, just laugh.

  19. OMG, that was my favorite transition ever, in the whole history of transitioning. And the Madlibs are wonderful. Seriously, vulgarity aside (and who doesn't love all that kid-fueld vulgarity?), it's sort of poetic. I think you should frame it and keep it on the wall to show dinner guests. You know, sort of like a tribute poem, only different.

  20. OMG - it's been awhile since one of Ben's escapades made me laugh until I cried. I tried to read it to my husband, but I was laughing to hard. Sad, that I'm a teacher, isn't it! I'll never laugh as hard as when Ben saved every scrap of paper and used 5 rolls of tape a day. We were going through the same thing here. It seems like FOREVER ago!

    Thanks, Catherine!

  21. um, now that I've stopped peeing in my pants, I can say that was the most hilarious round of mad libs ever. Having just posted a sorta serious look at the fact that my Noah turned 10 (serious in that I'm trying-to-be-mindful way), this was just the kind of giggle-fit I needed....and now, I think I will have to drag Noah inside to read it to him, because he'll fall apart laughing and that will remind me that he's still young enough to like potty talk. Or maybe I won't, because said potty talk has been remarkably vanishing from his now "shy" vocab, and I am not sooo sure I miss it...much;)

  22. Ha ha ha. Go Ben. I remember filling in Mad Libs like this when I was a kid, but I always made sure to hide them from my mom.

    She wouldn't have laughed at them and posted them on her blog. (As if there was such a thing back then!)

  23. Eerie! That first picture could have come straight from my daughter's bedroom floor, and the mad libs are EXACTLY like the ones my boys do. Too funny. :)

  24. Dale in Denver5:46 PM

    I like the title of this post:

    "Six and Nine" "69" - get it?! tee hee

    I've got 3 boys, almost 8, almost 6 and almost 3. They are all about butt and booty talk. I can only imagine how much more colorful our dinner conversations will be when they know a few more words!

  25. Hi, Catherine. Okay, so I'm a complete lazy bones who couldn't stand to go through the registration process at so I could comment on the absolutely FANTASTIC lemon chickpea and pasta recipe! Wow!

    My daughter, who did like it, declared it "wasn't her favorite." I think it might be mine, though.

    Please, please, please compile the recipes into a book. I'd preorder it right now. Seriously.

    Oh, and Ben's Mad Lib? Hysterical. I was never as inventive when I went through my Mad Lib phase.

  26. Anonymous2:22 PM

    here's a trick i have used...go to and register there. it is pretty easy and simple. then that login can be used at when you want to comment on a recipe. just be sure to write down your member/user name & password so you don't forget it.

  27. How dirty! What on earth have you been teaching the kids???


    My husband and I used to be quite fond of MadLibs as newlyweds. Many of them turned out like this one, oddly enough....

  28. Adorable! I am so behind in my blog reading, but I had to pop A is calling so I must run. Thanks for making me smile.

  29. I read that to my 5-yr-old and we both almost peed our pants (well, we had to rush him to the bathroom.) But he didn't understand why I was laughing so long and hard. Thanks for sharing!!!

  30. Anonymous11:48 AM

    We still do madlibs around Christmas - it is good fun all around, especially after some "merry cheer"... Perfect scene: my FIL, after some hefty contributions from himself and my BIL who is a priest in training, thoughtfully looks up and says "you know, we are all going to hell for this... Dante has a VERY special place for blasphemers" :) Still makes me laugh...

  31. Anonymous10:48 PM

    I am tempted to send this to my cousin, as he and I used to fill out madlibs exactly like this 30 years ago. I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Thanks!