Sunday, December 30, 2012

What is wrong with me? Seriously.

Because you'd think I could fulfill a simple holiday wish. . . 

As seen at Barnes and Noble.
without turning everyone's Christmas into Night of the Living Porn Cupcakes.

As seen in Jugs magazine.
I know I don't need to remind you about Pinata-gate 2005.

Raise your hand if you nursed until you were three and thought a pair of red pompoms looked just right!

If your child was here for that particular candy-filled-boobs party, again, I'm so sorry.

Otherwise, our holiday has been OUTRAGEOUS. Old friends, really old friends, hard cider, grandparents, ham, jigsaw puzzles, not working, red wine, snow, candlelight, games, movies, snow, ham, egg nog, rum balls, Ben barfing, jigsaw puzzles, music, ham, snow, napping, cat, fighting with Michael about whether the kids need to wear helmets for sledding in the woods because yes, I'm sorry, they do. Like that.


Yesterday I brewed a big pot of vanilla tea, and we all wrote all of our thank-you notes with the snow falling dreamily past our windows like we were in a Normal Rockwell painting of ourselves. Heaven on earth. Our gratitude abounds.

Happy New Year, dear ones. 

xo

20 comments:

  1. Ha!! I nursed three children. Sometimes, as I was nursing and rocking my third baby to sleep, I tried to do some math in my head. How many total hours have all three babies sucked on my nipples? I never came up with a number, but the thought was staggering. My boobs are non-existent now, and my poor nipples are drooping and sagging.
    Ahhhhhh, the days of milky boobs with beautiful cleavage are gone. I keep telling myself it doesn't matter. My children are thriving, right?

    Yeah, but I really, really liked my body when it looked like your birthday pinata...

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  2. Happy new year to you and your children

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  3. Why does such a happy post make me a weepy sogball? I'm nuts, that's why. Your list of holiday happenings is nearly identical to mine, right down to the crossed out argument over helmets. I would wrap both my babes in bubble wrap if I thought that would protect their tender little selves. And my husband rolls his eyes at the mere thought.

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  4. Happy New Year to you & yours!

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  5. Laura6:33 PM

    Oy the ham....we had an 8 1/2 lb honey-baked. I made split pea soup today with the last of it. Good stuff.

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  6. Thank you for putting in the fight and the barfing. Makes me feel less depressed about our flu-inflicted, spontaneous-fun-less holiday.

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  7. Helmet in the woods, yes. Glad to know I am not the only one. :)

    Love the cupcakes. :)

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  8. Cupcakes, pinata. New Year! I've got the Johnny's seed catalog in my lap right now. Planning for all the good stuff I'm going to have in the garden this summer. We didn't have snow, but are also doing thank you notes. Happy New Year!

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  9. You made the Motherlode's Greatest Hits, did you know that. So cool...

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  10. what kind of vanilla tea?

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    1. Bigelow French Vanilla Decaf.

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    2. unexpectedly pedestrian! i love it.

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  11. To be clear-I absolutely, without a doubt, HAVE to start referring to "a Normal Rockwell painting of ourselves. " If I do it publically you know- not just in my head, I'll be certain to credit you!. Well- on second thought I'll be certain to do it in my head as well. Brilliant.

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  12. I have to admit everytime I go through the verification process to post here I keep hoping to find out I'm a robot.

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  13. Always love your posts! They crack me up, my hubby says its because they hit too close too home for us.

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  14. Anonymous12:58 PM

    My daughter received "Unbored" and was totally not excited about it, until yesterday when she opened it and found Farting Games and Exploding Items. Now, it's the best book ever in our house- thank you for this suggestion!

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  15. Kathy Cornett2:48 PM

    Wouldn't be a holiday without some barfing thrown it!!

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  16. "Pinata Gate" was when I first started following you. I was a sleep deprived, sore-boobed mother of a newborn who laughed until she cried at that post:) Thank you for bringing back such good memories (esp since that newborn is now an almost 8 year old wise guy).

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