Thursday, November 29, 2007

Foil Turkey

If my digital camera didn't always pull that Taxi Driver "You talkin' to me?" routine every time I tried to use it, I would use it tonight. I would make a tinfoil heart-bosom and post it here just to prove that no, alas, it was not me who came up with that brilliant foil turkey in the Wondertime Thanksgiving leftovers piece. I would also like to say that I've written about death and heartache and grief and paralyzing anxiety for 250 years now, and never have I gotten so many emails before as I have about the turkey soup. Go figure. You all like yourselves some turkey soup. I'm glad. (Somewhere online is a newspaper article where I am quoted talking about those very same leftovers, and I sound like a finalist in the World's Biggest Jew contest. "Better you should. . . " I start every sentence. "You don't know from . . . ?" I ask. "Oy," I say.)

Oy.

New Wondertime columns are here and here. And oh, right, I nearly forgot to tell you the name of that poet! Here--lean in close and I'll whisper it in your ear. What? You couldn't hear that? What? You don't want to contribute to my health insurance fund after I get fired from my job? Really, what could I have been thinking?

Oy.

I am not even getting to the part about the condo, which will have to wait until next week. But yes, I live in a condo that is also a cabin in the woods. Little House on the Prairie, but, you know, with the prairie mown by a management company.

I hope your Thanksgivings were full of thanks.

xo

32 comments:

  1. Catherine,
    I just wanted to tell you that your latest column on wondertime was hilarious -- it's been a long day, and I might be tired, but you made my evening!

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  2. Katemma10:57 PM

    Oy, I so enjoy your writing. You make me smile each and every time! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Also, thanks for your concern about our dog. I'm glad to report he did stop barfing eventually. I guess we all do.

    Happy Holidays!

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  3. Turkey soup is the best. Glad you had a nice holiday. Off to Wondertime.

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  4. I love your Wondertime columns... there's something very evocative about turkey soup, I think. And by "evocative" I mean "mine is gross."

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  5. Anonymous3:39 PM

    Did you know that you are AWESOME?!
    Your writings are always a bright spot in my day. Yay you!

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  6. So, you have one of those cameras too? I thought I was the only one.
    I always try to post over at Wondertime, but I constantly get kicked out.
    I laughed so hard at your last article my husband had to come check on me. You are a gem!

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  7. Hmmm. I live in a condo but alas, it is NOT also a little cabin in the woods.

    Nice to meet you! :)
    catherine

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  8. Little House on the Prairie without pesky lawn work would be delightful.

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  9. Catherine,
    Can I just say you may me feel so normal? Ahh {takes big sigh}.

    Your column with the poet and breadsticks was just wonderful.

    Your next column I actually thought to myself, "Oh no! Are her children throwing up again???" So, five is the magic number for bathroom etiquette, eh? I cannot wait for that day. My son is 4 1/2 . . .when to potty train my daughter is another question.

    Thanks for always entertaining, challenging, and moving us.

    Vanessa

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  10. I don't know if it was your intention, but in the first piece you've captured perfectly the disconnect between being at home with the children and going to work. I do it every week and I always arrive at work with a little dough still under my fingernails (usually just figuratively, but sometimes literally) and I find myself at a loss for how to feel about being there. Thanks for this great post, as always!

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  11. how funny that most comments on the column were about the condo! too funny that you had it in you to explain too. oh, life of the world web. 'oy' is right!

    i look forward to your stories every week and i think you rock, even if someone else mows your lawn! (um, that came out wrong, but you know what i mean... the literal context of condo life!) :)

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  12. From the World's Biggest Lapsed Lutheran, I heart you. Hey, I'm having a Christmas Party on my blog today, would you bring your Turkey Soup?

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  13. I am thankful for you. And I have my own turkey soup recipe, thank you very much, which I am VERBOTEN from publishing. That means No. Also, with the Spanish olive dip recipe: a firm, NADA.

    Thank you for it all, every last creation and all the leftovers.

    xoxoxo

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  14. "Pa? Those chickens have been right spooked. We may be a wee bit short on the condo fees this month."

    Snort.

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  15. Martha4:35 PM

    Hi Catherine - thanks for the Thanksgiving and fake vomit posts. The latter would've been funnier if I weren't just getting over a nasty stomach virus...and if my 4-year-old daughter didn't get car sick regularly. Ook. (But hey, that's what stealing airsick bags from planes are for, right???) My daughter had the same stomach bug (milder, thank goodness) a few weeks ago, and still talks about it importantly. "When I was sick, I threw up in the trash can and you gave me a new one and I threw up in that one. You threw up in the sink." Makes me yearn for a generally stronger stomach...

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  16. O M G..... tights.... nailpolish...... I literally spit coffee at the monitor in hysterics of laughter this morning.... oh, the visual! I have done it too! Why do we lack the grace our mothers had? I wore a dress to a wedding over the summer and the kids said, wow, mom, you have legs!!!!! Like I was wandering around on long sticks under my jeans!

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  17. Ruthylaru1:16 AM

    Just wanted to say, while I always love your writing, the blow-up-lawn-santa that adorned your latest Wondertime column was a GIGANTIC hit with my toddler. She was shrieking with glee and waving frantically at it for hours.

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  18. Your column about the nailpolish on the pantyhose crotch had me laughing so hard (at my office) that I nearly choked on my lunch. I was snorting. I'm not kidding you. Totally something I'd do, and even with the f-word.

    Thanks for putting your fabulous ponderings out there every week. You've made my mothering journey so much more fun!

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  19. Oh how I'm loving ALL the columns, so wonder wonder wonderful. Thank you so much for your beautiful words! You are an inspiration!

    (And I hope everyone is feeling better at your house!)

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  20. Anonymous8:16 PM

    hey Catherine, hope everyone is feeling better. 104 is a scary temperature. You sounded very brave about taking Michael to the hospital.

    This morning for no apparent reason, I was thinking about your most recent blog posting- this Turkey soup one here- and wondering about your "world's biggest Jew contest" comment. I know I run the risk of being the PC police, but the comment didn't sit that well. Is this what a Jewish person is supposed to sound like? Really? Or just someone's idea of a Jewish caricature?

    I hope I don't get myself into trouble for bringing this up in such a public forum.

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  21. Anonymous8:58 PM

    Yes, that "world's biggest Jew contest" comment did not sit well with me either. Many people think it's okay to make those kinds of comments if they're Jewish, because it's like, Look, I'm just making fun of myself! Well, no, actually you're just reinforcing a ridiculous caricature!

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  22. Anonymous1:19 AM

    Jews actually talk like that! Get over it. She's being silly and if she really said it and she's Jewish herself, she can do whatever she wants and you can take a flying leap! Everyone needs to cut everyone slack and realise she's not making fun or being racist, she's just being cute and self-depricating. If it didn't sit well, leave.

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  23. Anonymous2:05 AM

    Catherine shouldn't have to worry about being "PC" on this blog. She is herself here among friends and it's stupid to nit pick her every move. Give her a break and give yourself a break. If you have nothing better to do than start something here, get a life!

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  24. Anonymous11:17 AM

    It's not a matter of being "PC." It's a matter of being thoughtful. Do you think if Ben asked Catherine, "What do Jews talk like? Someone told me that Jews talk a certain way," she would answer, "Well, Ben, Jews say Oy all the time." My guess is that she would talk to him about stereotypes and how hurtful they can be, even if you are stereotyping yourself.

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  25. Anonymous3:15 PM

    Wow! I can't believe people are getting so worked up. Really. Anyone who has read Catherine's columns for any length of time should know better. Let's focus on all the good her writing does for those of us who enjoy it and relate to what she says every week!

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  26. Anonymous4:33 PM

    Can we all just stop and think about Catherine's feelings here? Every week she puts herself out there for our enjoyment and benefit and then somebody picks on her. And to that person who said what would she say to Ben? She's noot talking to Ben here! She's talking to people who like her and "know" her and aren't offended by her every word. Let's let this go, whad'ya say???

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  27. raehan11:54 AM

    Hey, I say "Oy" and I'm only 1/4 Jewish by marriage, which means not really at all, but I say it, or more often write it, because there is no other word that captures the same sentiment all on its own.

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  28. Anonymous7:59 PM

    I say "Oy," as well, and I'm not even a little bit Jewish. I just think it's a funny thing to say. Doesn't Ron Weasley say it in Harry Potter? Is he not being politically correct?

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  29. Wow, because of all the anonymous comments it really seems like it's one person talking to themselves, with a different opinion in every comment. Sounds a little crazy. Oy.

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  30. Anonymous3:21 PM

    Ron Weasley, indeed. Harry Potter takes place in England. The British Oy is a totally different word, more like an American "Hey!"--usually used to get someone's attention. There's nothing remotely Yiddish about it.

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  31. Anonymous8:08 PM

    I really admire the poetry of Louise Gluck, don't you?

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