I am a little bit at a loss for words about your response to last week's open letter. This heart-stoppingly aggressive thing happened to us, only the net result was, crazily enough, buoyantly positive. Because not only a) did I get to see Ben angry for the first time ever, but then b) by the time we were in the car, he was already laughing that the whole thing had been worth it for the good story we'd be able to tell. (Plus, the next morning he said, brushing his hair, "Now I don't even want to trim my split ends!") And also c) the wagons circled fast and tight. And d) our people near and far, known and unknown to us, expressed their empathic outrage in, literally, hundreds of ways. Thank you, oh thank you.
And as far as the questions about the guy and what his problem was or might have been, his problem was--to put it plainly--masculinity. Although Birdy, when I was saying aloud, in response to a particular strand of comments, "Is this guy autistic? This guy's not autistic--this guy's an aggressive dick!" Birdy, maddeningly fair-minded Birdy, said, "But Mama, isn't your whole point that you don't know who people really are, what their whole story is, just from looking?" Such a pain in my arse, that kid.
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| And what, my darling girl, would our yelling friend have to say about *your* particular style of self-presentation? |
xo
Birdy is wise ;). And very stylish!
ReplyDeleteAnd I wish I could say that I had never seen my 7-year-old angry, but alas, I am all too familiar with his temper (some of us are just born more angry than others!?)...
ReplyDeleteTestosterone and I.Q. need to be proportional or there is a problem, I have found.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you proved the mightiness of the pen last week!!!
I love the way Birdy wears her Strawberry monkey!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! As long as wagons circle the good - there is hope for us all xx
ReplyDeleteAlas! I wish that man could have known the force of the Mama Bear Love unleashed within the circling of the wagons. Perhaps then he'd learn what Birdy already knows: you don't know who a person is just by looking.
ReplyDeleteI agree with birdy's point. But, you weren't just looking at this guy, he was *showing* you who he is. There could be tonnes of stuff in his personal history that he is/was struggling with/against in that moment. however, that stuff is his problem, and he needs to deal with it, so that he doesn't have to react like that, and can expand to not judge others just by looking.
ReplyDeleteBen and Birdy are both spectacularly awesome and you and michael deserve many kudos for doing such a fantastic parenting job. You're an inspiration.
Looking forward to more tasty vegetables, sure, but hey: last week? That post was the good stuff, too!
ReplyDeleteI spent my weekend with our kids and church youth group doing good works in our community, which I loved. My daughter cleaned and reorganized books at the Habitat for Humanity store. My son cleaned up landscaping around our high school baseball field. My husband and I worked with his sister and her friends in her home for developmentally disabled adults. So much good work to do, so little time. Before and after the good works was a youth rally with local kids' skits and lots of great praise music (if a little loud for those of us too close to 50). But the speaker was so inflammatory and exclusionary, that he left me pining for my old neighborhood in a liberal nook of Memphis (as opposed to my hometown in East TN where we now live). I just don't understand what excluding others and stomping on the self-esteem of our kids has to do with being good disciples. We'll just soldier on with our deprogramming and work as hard as my parents did to raise our kids with a world view in a truly beautiful small town and foster their tendencies to respect others! Catherine, you, your lovely family, and your community of friends inspire me!
ReplyDeleteThe wagons circled so tight and so fast because you & your family are so loved, and so very, very appreciated. The community you have helped the rest of us make/feel/foster/imagine/strive for is worth endlessly much. And we are loyal and grateful, both.
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Nothing lets you know that you have done your job as a parent than having your child call you out using your words and lessons. Birdy is right, but so are you. Keep doing the awesome job that you are. Your kids are fantastic!
ReplyDeleteOh Birdy! Such a good point! Wow, you gave me goosebumps.
ReplyDeleteBirdy--wise and beautiful and stylish! Your children are so wonderful. :)
ReplyDeleteBirdy for president!!
ReplyDeleteI guess since she's young, she'll need a regent so I hope that you are available??
I love your children! They are such whitty and incredible versions of you, you must be so proud of them! My only wish is that we could live nearby so some of their/your awesomeness could rub off! Oh and if you lived in my hometown it's very unlikely any of that sort of nonsense would even occur to anyone, feel free to visit! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the unknown stranger's abysmally poor behavior, but I am so glad that Ben is so resilient and can laugh about it. And that Birdy took your words so much to heart. Someone told me that our job as parents is to fill our kids' buckets of self-esteem so full that no matter how many holes the world pokes in the bucket, it will never be empty. I think you are doing a wonderful job--your kids have their own sense of style (and really, what kid doesn't?!) and they aren't afraid to express their style. Oh, that all of us could be so brave!
ReplyDeleteYour Birdy is so spectacular!!! As is Ben of course. I too was outraged at the idiocy of that guy, but computer issues prevented me from commenting. (although I tried!) What a jerk! But I loved Loved LOVED your picture of Condoleezza Rice. That had me chuckling long after my anger at the situation wore off. Clearly she had snuck into that restroom to see what the other young girls were laughing over too.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Birdy and Ben are both wise. Good job, Catherine and Michael :-)
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