Green Wrap, Curried Tofu Fingers

God, those both sound like Berkeley garage bands. Or unenticing menu items from the Whole Earth cafe. Or 1970s vegetarian porn stars. But there it is. As for the Curried Tofu Fingers, that is the recipe from the first Cooking with Ben blog over at ChopChop. I am guessing that he was just really ready to cook already, or something, but I thank my lucky stars I got that job over there, because it has totally changed our lives: Ben now cooks dinner once a week. While I lie around fanning myself with a palm leaf and reading the Garnet Hill catalogue and enjoying my own personal happy hour. I'd be grateful if you'd go over and read it. Plus, that recipe rocks (it's not mine--not that I seem to worry about immodesty anyways).

Green Wrap is the first Mama Lunch! Yay. "Mama Lunch" means that I'm not officially recommending it as a family meal, even though you might head down that path on your own. "Mama Lunch" means that you're eating it and enjoying it all by your ownself, either while your kids are at school, or while they're home, flitting around worriedly, saying, "Are you really going to eat that?" And yes. Yes you are.

Green Wrap is also what we call around here "deja new," meaning that you've never heard of it ever in your entire life, but then suddenly you've heard about it a hundred times in a week. Apparently, these are all the rage everywhere, though I've never actually eaten one out or anything, because I am too cheap to pay for a collard leaf stuffed with stuff I already have at home. Hence, the making of them. And make no mistake: they are delicious. There is something so utterly energizing about how green they taste; I eat one (or two) and then feel very boingy and glad, like I'm on a psychic pogo stick (in a good way) with none of that bread-heaviness of a sandwich. It's like a chlorophyll burrito (in a good way).

It starts with two large, clean, raw collard leaves. Cut the stems flush with the base, then trim the center rib flush with the leaf so that it's not huge and thick, which would prevent the leaf from rolling up nicely.

 

Then you massage the leaves with olive oil, because you love them that much and it's almost Father's Day. A little drizzle of olive oil, and also a sprinkle of salt, and then you rub it on the side of the leaf facing up, which is technically the bottom of the leaf even though it's on top. Why am I making this sound so complicated? Because I'm tired. I had the same boring dream all night long--a dream that I was reading. Seriously. And I love reading--but it makes for a really boring, ennervating dream. Anyways, oil and salt the leaves and they will get nice and dark and supple and shiny. Comme ca.

I can haz cheeseburger? No.

And then you add your filling. My filling here is diced pickled beets, feta, and toasted walnuts, which was crazy delicious but kind of a mess. Ideally your filling would include something creamy, like hummus or guacamole, to kind of stick everything together so that it doesn't all fall out while you're eating. This exact filling, but whirled for a minute in the food processor, would have been ideal. I like to add something crunchy always, like nuts or toasted pepitas.

And then you tuck the ends in towards the center and roll it up, just like a burrito. 

And then you cut it in half, to show off a little bit, at which point you wish you'd used a different filling so that it didn't all look like it was falling out. But still.

Enjoy your weekend, my darlings. 

xo