have got me thinking about my own.
Sigh.
My hot
yoga class, I should say, so as to conjure the appropriate image of myself
sweating and barfing and toppling to the mat whence I imagine myself
screaming away in an ambulance to be resuscitated somewhere with the paddles. Plus, the instructor who looks like Rashida Jones. Kill me. At least the electrolyte imbalance makes me a totally cheap drunk. A cheap drunk with breasts like white elephant trunks.
I am sitting here, smelly, in my yoga clothes from class this morning LAUGHING hysterically! What I really want to know is, whose post-babies, late-thirties breasts look good in those teeny tiny yoga tops? It's a college age conspiracy!
ReplyDeletethat might be the bestest illustration of boobs ever.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the lopsidedness of it all, like one is a molting, wilted huge wet peony after a heavy rain and the other is a sodden little pansy that someone stepped on. Blah. Can't I just have the surgery??
ReplyDeleteBeware the hot yoga! That stuff will knock you on your ass before you know what hit you!
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, your boobs are probably more loved than that college chick's. Watch some Nat Geo. it will help. :)
I was out with some (younger and childless) friends a few weeks back and was lamenting the fact that my boobs rolled into my armpits whilst I laid in bed and fell out of the bottom of my bra if I lifted my arms to high into the air. They were like, "really?" in that shocked oh my GOD kind of way. The facts are that breast feeding makes deflated paper sacks out of the best breasts... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteDon't fret.....it might take a little longer, but their's will be there soon enough. All boobs sag eventually, kids or not :)
DeleteMy breasts were just like the flowers in the second photo until 5 months ago when I had them "done." Best $5,000 I ever spent.
ReplyDeleteI used to be so cocky in yoga class, like what is with these poor inflexible souls who can't even do a proper Salute to the Sun? Guess what I can't do anymore (after 8 years of a whole lotta mommy no yoga to speak of)? Well I'd rather have the kids than the smugness any day....though now it seems my smugness has transferred....uh oh.
ReplyDeleteI definitely will give whatever the current version of the Wonderbra a try when I am so motivated--most likely, the only ones who see us naked are sagging a little themselves (or soon will be!)
Ugh. Why are my boobs shaped like triangles, now? I used to laugh at those awful pointy bras from the 50's. Now, I have that bizarre unnatural shape when I don't wear a bra. They're like saggy ice cream cones.
ReplyDeleteI like to think of mine like deflated balloons- good times! Never thought I'd look at my breasts and see my mother's. Thankfully I have two little people to thank for them, and the fact that as bathing suit season is upon us, at least one of them will pull down my suit and expose them to the world.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that "the French" include moribund flowers in their flower arrangements, seeing the beauty in all stages of the life cycle. Ladies: lets try to love our tits in all their shabby chic/ wabi sabi glory. I watched an older woman shake up and down under her teeshirt today, and was so happy she chose to go braless; and another friend who in her 60s with one breast gone the way of a mastectomy-- she can't be bothered with the prothesis, and just goes around boldly asymetrical-- it's really very sexy and real! So hooray for college boobs, hooray for middle aged boobs, hooray for old crone boobs, hooray!
ReplyDeleteCrone boobs! Hooray!
DeleteI endured my fair share of heckling for my A cups in the college years... oh yeah! Suck it, droopy ones! Mine are small but mighty! :)
ReplyDeleteSo funny and so true!! After 3 kids my boobs are a VERY SMALL Acup, maybe even AA???!! But I take comfort in the fact that if they were any larger, they would be droopy. Thanks for the laugh!!
DeleteI find bra shopping sooo depressing. I too am now a small A and have to buy bras in the girls' section - nothing very sexy there, but I sure do have 'teen spirit!!'
DeleteMy own are currently as round & full as they ever were because they're always filled with milk. For the last baby. I'm trying to savor this time, bc I know from last time what happens after weaning. Sigh. I was always small, so it's nice to be busty for a little while. Probably not a good enough reason to put off weaning till the baby is in college, right? Right.
ReplyDeleteA dear friend of mine told me her body now gives new meaning to the term 'sag and drag.' As does mine. Wouldn't it be great if you could just pull it all up and readjust it like a big pair of saggy pantyhose?
ReplyDeleteArgh, saggy boobs. I look at mine more now that they are asymmetrical and droopy than I ever did when they looked good. Loved the flower pictures.
ReplyDelete